Even Maybee is tired from all this birthday jubilation. And she had 7 day naps to prepare.
As noted all over this blog, in my professions of status updates on facebook, and overall vocally at any sports competition (they won’t let me in to route them on in academics, whatevs) I really love my kids. Like, they are the coolest kids ever. So, when they asked if they could have slumber parties for their birthdays, I thought it sounded like a great idea.
As my mother sang to me over and over during my teenage years, “That’s what you get for thinking.”
As I write this, I’m working on what I think might be 2 hours of sleep. I can’t be sure because I cannot work up enough brain power to subtract.
I tried to be cool mom at 1 a.m. I really did. But by 3 a.m. I might have
digressed progressed into bitchy mom. At 4 a.m. I just gave up trying in life in general. It’s not the kids’ fault I couldn’t get to sleep (sort of). I have some weird physiological deal where I cannot sleep if kids are awake in my home.
My sweet smart and funny boy turns into some weird creature when meshed in a pack of fellow tween boys. It’s louder, and stinkier and they do loud and stinky for longer. I’m pretty sure two of the kids never went to sleep. It took everything I had not to bang pots around, and run the coffee bean grinder when I woke up from my overnight nap to take my niece to a friends’ house at 6 a.m. this morning.
Boys at tweens are louder and have no clue. I know this because it was a great debate with Max as he argued with me about it at 1 a.m.
“Y’all are way too loud.”
“No we’re not, Mom!”
“Yes you are.”
“No we’re NOT.”
“Yes YOU ARE. Fix it or I’ll come down there and fix it myself.” Why I argued with him for that long is beyond me. I had earbuds in, the door shut, and was on a separate level of the house. And also, I’m the mom.
Yes, I threatened to come downstairs and get my way through humiliation of my sweet son. Not my best moment. But it worked for like 30 minutes. So, that’s good.
My first inclination maybe I wasn’t as prepared for 12 years old as I thought was when the kids snubbed our annual birthday tunes cd party favors. We always make a compilation of our favorite hits and hand them out at every party. This year they pretty much put it off until I made the playlist on my own, and then when I apparently threatened to make the cds, they begged me not to. It’s their bday, so I reluctantly relented. Another tradition gone. Dammit.
When I woke up this morning, my immediate response was that perhaps instead of the cds, a better party favor would have been handing out AXE bodyspray to each of them. Too much? The smell of 5 sweaty boys in our apparently poorly ciruclated house is astounding.
I was shocked to hear movement and then loud boyness outside at 7:45 a.m. As soon as the boys opened their eyes, they jumped up and went outside to play basketball and I opened up the windows, turned on every ceiling fan and Scentsy in the house, and Lysol-ed the hell out of the place.
Once again, I had to beg the boys to be quieter, but this time, their sweaty loudness was outside. So, I’m trying to figure out how to explain to the neighbors if they call, “Look, put your ear buds in, I can’t take it anymore!”
Eventually the boys all went home, and I cleaned up and sterilized the house for Lucy’s slumber party. I freak out a little bit. Historically, the girls have been the louder ones with their shrieks and loud giggles. Oh God.
Just before Max goes to pass out, we announce we’re meeting Gramma and the Aunties for lunch at our favorite eatery, Panda House. Max tears up a bit. We give him the lecture about being polite and no sleeping with his head on the table while visiting with company. He obliges.
While explaining our current in between slumber parties status, Auntie Rosie says, “ARE YOU STUPID!?”
Kind of. Yeah.
But Lucy and her friends spare us. They pretty much know I’ll be all up in their business if they get too crazy. I might have threatened Lucy that I’d just hang out with them if I needed to. Girls at this age pretty much just want you to serve the cake and then leave them alone. There was one incident at midnight where they were raiding our kitchen and slamming every cabinet. I asked her to stop, and she did.
Our house is fairly old, and you can hear every thing going on throughout the house. So, it’s not totally the kids’ faults. And aside from the once a year double slumber parties, its actually a pretty good security system.
I survived another double birthday party. But barely.
Maybe next year, we’ll do something different. I’m pretty sure I said that last year.
Keep on Rocking.
Song of the Day: